沉默以对

 

While it might feel good to freeze him out and let him stew, not speaking to him will only have a detrimental effect on your relationship in the long run. He’ll get frustrated by your lack of communication and you’ll never get your point across if you’re not actually speaking to him. Successful relationships are based good communication, so instead of sulking and giving him the cold shoulder, try talking through your problems and finding the solution together.

冷落他，让他好好反省反省，这样做或许能解你心头之恨，但从长远看，这种做法只会使关系陷入僵局。你的缄默的确挫伤他的锐气，但如果你不说出来，他怎么会知道你在想什么。成功的感情以良好的沟通为基础，所以不要把事情闷在心里、冷眼相向，把问题摆出来，共同解决。

 

2. Nag, nag nagging

唠叨，各种唠叨

 

Yes, he always forgets to take the rubbish and it really gets your goat, but nagging him isn’t going to make things any better. Men tune out the sound of women’s voices when they start to irritate them so it becomes a vicious cycle – you ask him to do something, he zones out, you get frustrated and ask him again and again and infinitum causing a build up of resentment and anger on both sides.

他总是忘记带走垃圾，这的确很烦人，但是唠叨不是上策。男人被激怒的时候，会对女人的婆婆妈妈置若罔闻，这样，恶性循环就开始了——你要求他做什么，他不听，你生气并反复说，结果呢，双方都满腹怨气，甚至开始仇视对方。

 

Instead of demanding he do things in a nagging tone, try a more positive approach. Give him a cuddle, smile, look him in the eye and ask if he’d mind taking the rubbish out later. You’re much more likely to get what you want with a warm approach and he won’t resent you for asking.

用聪明的办法代替烦人的唠叨。开口前拥抱一下、给个笑脸或用期待地眼光注视他，然后再问他是否可以顺便把垃圾带走。这种以柔克刚的方法更有利于你达到目的，而他也会乐意效劳。

 

3. Avoiding conflict

回避冲突

 

Never fighting or failing to bring up issues that are bothering you is a relationship time bomb. When you’re concerned about something it won’t just go away if you ignore it – just like a bump in the carpet it will pop up somewhere else. Remember, it’s normal and healthy for couples to disagree from time to time. As long as you argue constructively and are able to compromise and move ahead, it’s actually good for your relationship.

回避令你闹心的问题，就等于埋下了一枚定时炸弹。当你为某事忧虑时，不去想它不等于它不存在——就像地毯下的硬物，不是在这儿鼓出来，就是在那儿鼓出来。记住，两人之间偶尔意见不合很正常，而且在某种程度上还有益关系和睦。只要你持积极态度去讨论问题，并能得饶人处且饶人，实际上，分歧促进了关系和谐。

 

4. Playing the drama queen

小题大做

 

Losing your temper, crying or storming out every time something doesn’t go your way will soon wear thin with your man. Instead of throwing a strop and flouncing out, sit down and talk through your problems. It takes far less energy than slamming doors and throwing tantrums.

一不顺心就火冒三丈、大呼小叫、要么夺门而出，他不会忍你太久。坐下来谈谈，看看问题的症结在哪里，不要动不动就龙颜大怒。摔门、发脾气是体力活儿，还是说话来得轻松。

 

5. Being possessive and clingy

占有欲强，太黏人

 

During the honeymoon period it’s nice to do everything together, but insisting he spends every waking hour with you and you alone is never a good idea. He’ll start to feel smothered. Everyone – even married couples need some time alone and socializing with friends who aren’t you is also important. Encourage him to go out with his friends or stay home and watch the game solo from time to time. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

蜜月期的两个人同出同入人人羡慕，但是如果要求他时时刻刻与你形影不离那就不好了。这样会让他产生窒息感。每个人都需要时间独处（已婚夫妻更是如此），而且需要与外面的朋友交往。适时地鼓励他出去找找朋友，或者把他单独留在家看节目。别忘了，距离产生美。

 

6. Being sarcastic

说话刻薄

 

While you can pass the odd sarcastic quip off as a joke, there is often a deep seated hostility towards your partner at play behind the persistent use of sarcasm to put your partner down. If you want your relationship to flourish it’s time to look inwards and work out why you’re behaving this way before it’s too late. You might find your partner starts to push you away or avoids spending time with you out of fear and anger – being on the receiving end of sarcasm can be especially wearing.

当你把冷嘲热讽当笑话说时，说明你内心深处对他充满敌意，希望通过不断的挖苦打击他。如果你希望关系融洽，在无法挽回之前赶快自省，挖出作祟的恶魔。你或许发现对方已开始回避你，或出于恐惧和恼怒不愿和你在一起——被讽刺挖苦的滋味可不好受啊！

 

7. Drinking too much

贪杯

 

A nice relaxing glass of wine after a hard day’s work is one thing, but if one or both of you find yourselves drinking until you’re legless most nights, it’s a clear signal something’s not right between you and that you’re using alcohol to mask the shortcomings of the relationship. Unnecessary flare-ups are inevitable when there’s too much booze involved. Nobody wants to date a drunk so sober up or seek professional help before it’s too late to salvage things.

紧张的工作之余来一杯轻松一下是一回事，但如果你或你俩差不多夜夜喝得找不着北，那毫不疑问，你俩之间出问题了，你们在用酒精掩盖关系中的裂痕。一旦豪饮成了家常便饭，发生争执肯定在所难免了。谁愿意跟酒鬼在一起，所以别再贪杯，或者向导师求助，否则你将抱撼终生。

 

8. Overspending

消费无节制

 

Money can be a bone of contention whether you’re being supported by your partner or are the main breadwinner in the relationship. Exceeding your weekly budget on a regular basis shows a lack of respect for your partner while showing off by flashing your cash when he doesn’t have as much to spend can easily cause resentment. So watch your wallet.

不论夫妻二人中谁挣钱养家，钱总是争吵的根源。每周总是超预算开销，会让他觉得没有得到应有的尊重，而在他挣不到很多钱时你却大把花钱摆阔，你可能会遭到他的嫌恶。所以穿衣吃饭看家当。

 

9. Checking up on him

监视他

 

Snooping his Facebook or email account, checking his phone for illicit texts and constantly worrying that his female friends are more than just platonic will drive you seriously nuts. You just can’t live your life in a state of constant fear that he’s hooking up with someone else.

担心他与女性朋友有越轨行为，不是偷窥他的Facebook、电子邮箱帐号，就是查看他的电话，检查是否有不正常信息，无休止的担心会让你发疯。你不能因担心他会勾搭别人而生活在持续的恐惧中。

 

If he’s cheated on you in the past you need to ask yourself if you truly trust him to be faithful or end things. If you’re just insecure talk to him about how you feel and he should be able to reassure you. Snooping is not the way to solve this problem.

如果他有前科，那你就该好好想想，他是否真的忠实可靠，是否诚心悔改。如果你不放心，那就告诉他你的感受，让他向你保证。监视解决不了问题。

 

10. Trying to make him jealous

让他忌妒

 

If you were content in your relationship, flirting with other guys to make your man jealous wouldn’t even cross your mind. So if you find yourself making eyes at the bartender just to make him sit up and notice you, ask yourself why? If it’s because he’s acting non-committal or not paying you enough attention tell him how you feel. Flirting sets a bad precedent – if you can that means he can too. And that’s no use to either of you.

如果你对感情状况还满意，那与男人调情让他吃醋就实在是个馊主意。如果你和酒吧服务员在他眼前眉来眼去，只会让他提防你，为什么要这样做呢？若是因为他缺乏责任感或对你不够关注，直接把想法告诉他。你调情只能为他起到表率作用——你能，他也能。这对双方都不好。