Who better to prepare guys to gain a foothold in this war than ancient military strategist and the mastermind behind The Art of War, Sun Tzu? He didn’t know it at the time, but Sun Tzu was the original “Mack Daddy” and not only laid out the rules, strategies and tactics for conquering armies and winning wars, he also laid out the rules, strategies and tactics for conquering women and winning dates. So if you’re ready to stop surrendering and retreating alone to your empty apartment, here are 10 things Sun Tzu can teach men about dating.

 

No.10 Know your enemy（了解你的敌人）

 

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles... If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” This is where most guys suffer defeat every day. We may think we know women and what a woman wants, but most of us really don’t. If we did, we wouldn’t be buying her drinks all night long, knowing that she equates buying her a drink with a pickup attempt. That brings her defenses into position, instantly sending you to the “Guy Who Wants to Get in My Pants” pile. If you knew that what she really wants is to have fun and be entertained, you’d use a different approach instead of being a walking wallet.

”知己知彼，方能百战不殆。不知彼不知己，每战必败。“这就是如今大多数男士战败的原因所在。我们自以为很了解女人，知道她们想要什么。但其实大多数男士并不了解。如果我们了解，我们就不会整晚为她们喝得烂醉如泥，也不会知道想要追她们并不是为了她们而酗酒。这样只会让她们进入防御模式，不断的把你放入”这个男人想要追我“的文件夹。如果你知道她真正想要的知识玩乐和消遣，你就会用不同的方式对她，而不是成为她的”随身钱包“。

 

No.9 Have a plan（有计划的行动）

 

“The general who wins a battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought.”

“夫未战而庙算胜者，得算多也。”

 

Most guys go out at night with one objective: Meet women and get laid. And that’s about the extent of their planning. They head out recklessly shooting at anything and everything that gets within range. Women, on the other hand, have been in the trenches a lot longer, and they plan their evening -- where they’ll go, how long they’ll stay at each place, who will be the DD, and how they’ll deflect the advances of the endless barrage of jerks, douchebags and assholes bombarding them with lame pickup lines and awkward approaches.

大多数男人晚上出去只有一个目的——见女人，然后把她们搞定。而这完全取决于他们计划的范围。他们草率的在大范围内撒网。而女人们早已身经百战，她们自己晚上也有出行计划——他们要去哪里？在一个地方要呆多久？谁会是那个DD？以及她们要怎么样摆脱那些负心汉和混球所用的蹩脚没品的无休止的轰炸。

 

So you’ll need to be prepared and lay some plans of your own, and one of them is...

所以你要做好准备并制定一些计划，而其中一条就是...

 

No.8 Choose your wingmen wisely（明智地选择你的战友）

 

Sun Tzu wanted generals under his command who were “in complete accord with their ruler,” willing to follow their leader into battle regardless of the dangers or consequences. So take a look at the guys you go out with. Joe may be great to hang with at a sports bar, having a beer or two while watching the game, but is he suited to be your wingman when you approach a group of hot women? Or will he try to cockblock you, just stand there like an idiot or make a fool of himself and you? If so, you might want to consider leaving him off the invite list on the nights you go out to meet women.

孙子希望将军们都能遵从他的规定，听他的指令，无论战争的危险和后果，都愿意追随他们的领导。所以看看你出去玩的时候身边的人。也许和乔去运动吧喝上一两杯很适合，但是当你想接近一群火辣的女士们的时候，他是否合适成为你的战友吗？或者他会不会妨碍你，他只是像傻瓜一样的站在那儿，让他自己和你看上去像个傻瓜？如果，是这样，当你晚上想去追寻女人的时候，你要考虑一下把他从你的邀请名单上移除。

 

No.7 Maintain discipline（坚持原则）

 

Sun Tzu demanded “discipline be rigorously enforced” in his generals. He knew that being sloppy meant getting killed. When meeting women, being sloppy means getting shot down. Women are wily adversaries, and if you’re not on your best game and on your toes at all times, they’ll cut you off at the knees. So that means if your mission is to meet women, don’t overimbibe. And that goes for your wingmen too. Because if you’re drunker than she is, you’re walking into a gunfight with a water balloon.

孙子要求他的将军们严格遵守原则。他知道做事草率意味着被杀。在与女士见面的时候，草率意味着出局。女人是很狡猾的对手，如果你不是一直保持状态，她们就会判你出局。所以如果你的目的是与女士见面，就不要过分饮酒。这点对你的战友同样适用。因为如果你比她喝得还过分，你正在点燃一场没有硝烟的战争。

 

No.6 Make her want you（让她依赖你）

 

“To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.”

“是故百战百胜，非善之善也；不战而屈人之兵，善之善者也”。

 

Sun Tzu knew that the surest way to victory was to not have to step on the battlefield, but to get the enemy to give up the fight before it even starts. It’s the same with women. The minute she knows you’re attempting to pick her up, her defenses slam into place. And they are not easy to maneuver around. The idea is to engage her and build attraction before she thinks your intention is to get her back to your place. So instead of buying her a drink, try an Opinion Opener.

孙子知道取得胜利最可靠的方法不是踏上战场战斗，而是战争还未开始敌人已经投降了。这就和得到女人的心一样。当她知道你想要追她，她就会采取防卫态度。而且这是很难控制的。解决这个问题的方法就是在她知道你的目的是要将她占为己有时就先接近并吸引她。而不是为她买醉。不如试试“意见开瓶器”吧！

 

Ever met a woman who didn’t want to give her opinion on something? Like unicorns and an NFL collective bargaining agreement, they don’t exist. So walk up and ask for her opinion on blind dates after a breakup, on flossing before or after brushing, on just about anything. And get her talking. Let her see what a unique, interesting and entertaining guy you are before she thinks you’re trying to stage a coup in her bedroom. Plus, opinions are not yes or no questions. Asking “Can I buy you a drink?” or “Would you like to dance?” gives her the opportunity to say no. And you chance losing the battle after a single shot.

你有见过什么女人不愿意给别人意见的吗？就像是独角兽和美国国家橄榄球联盟的讨价协议一样，这样的女人根本不存在。那么就走上前问问她一些意见吧，比如：分手后对相亲，刷牙后对牙线洁牙，或者任何事情的意见。在她知道你想取得她欢心之前让她知道你是一个多么独特，有趣和幽默的男人吧。另外，不要问“是”或“否”的问题。如果你问“需要饮料吗”？“可以一起跳个舞吗”？那就会有让她说不可能。而你就有可能约会一次后就战败。

 

No.5 Take the initiative（采取主动）

 

“Good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat... ability to defeat the enemy means taking the offensive. Standing on the defensive indicates insufficient strength.”

“昔之善战者，先为不可胜，以待敌之可胜...可胜者，攻也。善守者藏于九地之下。

 

Strength (of character, not physical strength, Arnold) is a powerful attraction fuel. Women love men who are self-confident and decisive. Sun Tzu also advised: “The good fighter will be terrible in his onset, and prompt in his decision. Energy may be likened to the bending of a crossbow; decision to the releasing of the trigger.” You can’t “sort of” fire a crossbow.

（性格上，而非体力的）实力是很强大的吸引力。女人喜欢那些自信果断的男人。孙子也说过：“善战者，其势险，其节短。势如扩弩，节如发机”。你必须成为“火弩”。

 

So don’t stand there smiling across the bar, waiting for her to come to you. Take the initiative. You’ll be rewarded for it.

所以，不要在吧台对面冲着她笑，等着她来找你。只有采取主动，你定会有所收获。

 

No.4 Know the qualities you desire（清楚你想要的类型）

 

“We cannot enter into alliances until we are acquainted with the designs of our neighbors.”

“不知诸侯之谋者，不能豫交。

 

There’s a whole lotta crazy floating around out there, and many of us have war stories of our less-than-stable girlfriends past. And this comes from our willingness to hook up with any woman who is willing, while ignoring obvious red flags. Then we end up with half our stuff gone and “Dickhead” painted on the hood of our car in nail polish.

这世上有许多疯狂的事，我们大多数人过去或多或少都有过女朋友。想要和什么样的女人交往决定了这一切，而使我们忽略了其他的诱惑。可我们却人财两空，车盖上还赫然的被人用指甲油写着“白痴”两个字。

 

Knowing what qualities you want in a woman as well as what qualities are deal breakers makes the decision whether to enter into an alliance easier. So make a list of the qualities you want -- and don’t want -- in a woman. Then stick to it.

清楚你想要的女人的类型会让人趁早做决定，跟那样的女人在一起是否容易。所以，列一张表，看看你想要的女人的类型，以及不想要的类型。然后照着这张表行动。

 

No.3 Don't be a pushover（不要被人左右你的思想）

 

“Do not swallow a bait offered by the enemy.

“饵兵勿食。”

 

Women have a way of weeding out the men they don’t want. And they do it with something affectionately known as a Sh*t Test. It’s bait she’ll dangle out there to see if you bite, usually in the form of a mild insult or a snarky attitude. “Who picked out that shirt for you?” “Why would you admit you listen to country music?” She’s looking to see how you react -- if you’ll roll over and show your belly: “Yeah, this shirt is kinda ugly. I shoulda worn my blue one.” Show weakness, and you’re finished. She wants to see if you’ll stand your ground: “You’re crazy! This shirt is the hottest thing in Europe. Hasselhoff was wearing one at his concert in Berlin, so you know it’s the sh*t. I bought three of them.”

女人淘汰男人有自己的一套方法。而且她们会用亲切的态度来使用这套方法，姑且被称之为“能力测验”。她会挂出诱饵看你是不是会上当，通常会以软磨硬泡的方式。“谁帮你选得这件衬衫？”“你为什么说自己听乡村音乐？”她在试图看你如何反应——如果你被她的话而左右，告诉她：“是啊，这件衬衫是有点难看。我该穿蓝色的那件的。”这样你就暴露了自己的弱点你就完蛋了。她希望你能坚持自己的立场：“你疯了！这件衬衫在欧洲可火了。哈塞尔霍夫在柏林开音乐会的时候就穿了它，它真的很火。我买了三件了都。”

 

No.2 Think on your feet（驻足思考）

 

Sun Tzu knew that even though he was well prepared to go into battle, things don’t always go according to plan. And situations could arise that were out of his control. So when they came up, he didn’t panic. He rolled with it.

孙子明白即便上战场前已经做足了准备，事情并不都是想象中的那样一帆风顺。情况可能让他无法控制。所以当事情发生的时候，他没有害怕，而是解决了它。

 

Know that this is going to happen when you approach women. Every interaction is different, and unforeseen things can come at you from all directions. So rather than panic and fold up your tents, learn to think on your feet and deal with whatever resistance comes at you.

要知道在你接近女人的时候这种状况常常发生。每次的互动都是不同的，许多事情总是意外出现。所以相比较恐惧得收起你的帐篷，不如驻足思考那位女士是不是拒绝了你。

 

No.1 Use other women to your advantage（让其他女人成为你的智囊团）

 

"The dispositions of an enemy are ascertainable through spies and spies alone."

“对敌人的部署是通过间谍单独确定的。”

 

Sun Tzu had a way of gathering intel on his enemies without the use of satellites or drones armed with infrared cameras. He used spies. And many times they were enemy soldiers he “turned.”

孙子无需使用卫星或红外摄像机收集敌人的情报。他有间谍。很多间谍都是受他指示伪装成敌军的。

 

They were his secret weapon, and they can be yours too. And the best spies in the battle of the sexes? Other women. Not only can they give you insight into the minds of your targets, but they raise your value to other women and get you into conversations with hot women faster. James Bond used Pussy Galore; you should too.

他们是他的秘密武器，也可以是你的。在爱情的战争中谁是间谍呢？是其他的女人。她们不仅能对于你的目标给予见解，她们也可以在别的女人面前提升你的价值，让你尽快融入她们。詹姆士邦德得到了普斯盖洛的帮助，你也应该这样做。