《剑16》Test 2 大作文

　　教师范文

　　01

　　Recent years have witnessed galloping updating of consumer goods. Accordingly, when manufacturers promote their products in adverts, they specify the novelty of those updated models. There are apparent reasons for this trend, and in general it is a negative development.

　　(40 words) 开头段落不需要话多，说清楚题目中给出的内容，以及对提问的部分有个笼统回应就可以。

　　gallop 快速进展 (不及物动词)

　　promote 推销 (及物动词)

　　specify 具体说明 (及物动词)

　　novelty 新奇 (不可数名词)

　　apparent 明显的

　　02

　　Obviously, a new feature is considered to be a selling point. Advertisers stress the feature in the hope that a product would sell better for its newness. The emphasis is to send a message that there is something different and new that is worth attention and purchase. A new feature may also be a competitive advantage, and it needs to be advertised. When a manufacturer develops a new function, a new design—even a small detail, or a new look—a new color or new packaging, the purpose is to give consumers better user experience, thereby making the product better competing with the rival products on the market.

　　(108 words) 主体部分第1段回应第1个提问。理想说来，写两个理由。实在想不出两个理由，写一个也可以被接受。这样可以拿到TR这个评分维度的分数。从GRA的评分维度来看，注意句子结构的丰富性，倒不是要句子结构复杂，而是这么多句子相互之间有结构上的区别，比如本段的四个句子，结构上有明显的区别。以及要注意句子的长短不要单一，要有长有短。就这个段落而言，因为只有四句话，CC维度的得分本身比较容易，简单说来，只要做到“总—分”结构明显就可以了。

　　feature 特征 (可数名词)

　   selling point 卖点

　　advertiser 广告商

　　stress 强调 (及物动词)

　　newness 新奇 (不可数名词)

　　competitive advantage 比较优势 (可数名词)

　　user experience 用户体验 (不可数名词)

　　rival product 竞争产品/对手产品 (可数名词)

　　03

　　Although the reasons make sense, this kind of advertising act may be of little benefit to consumers. The new feature, which is intended to win the competition and to arouse consumers’ desire to buy the product, may be unpragmatic or valueless. Consumers overwhelmed with those advertisements may end up buying things they do not really need and feel disappointed, deceived or humiliated. This trend is negative also because it encourages consumerism. Since such advertising is to excite the consumers who view or read the ads and take advantage of their impulse, it may create needs that are not genuine and provokes wants that are excess. Any consumption as a result of this may be dangerous.

　　(115 words) 主体部分第二段回应第二个提问。同样也是写两个方面比较理想，从而拿到TR维度的分数。要从GRA的评分维度，和上一个段落基本是同一个要求。CC维度而言，这个段落依然整体是“总—分”结构明显。虽然本段的句子数量比上一段多，但是句子之间的联系也比较容易构建。

　　be intended to 意图是

　　arouse 引起 (及物动词)

　　desire 欲望 (可数名词)

　　unpragmatic 不务实的

　　overwhelm (感官上/感受上)吞没 (不及物动词)

　　disappoint 使…失望 (及物动词)

　　deceive 欺骗 (及物动词)

　　humiliate 羞辱 (及物动词)

　　encourage 怂恿 (及物动词)

　　impulse 冲动 (可数名词)

　　genuine 真实的

　　excess 过度的

　　04

　　Overall, the reasons for this trend of advertising are easy to see and to understand. At the same time, there are obvious negative effects.

　　(24 words) 结尾段落更不需要话多，宏观总结，覆盖主体部分的内容就是合格的结尾了。目标不在超级高分的同学在结尾段落时，都不需要考虑用词上的花样，正确就安全，安全就好。