李建林点评新GRE作文
2011-11-20 00:00 供稿单位: 互联网 原创作者:李建林
出国英语考试有哪些 雅思6.5是什么水平 雅思阅读评分标准 托福阅读评分标准 雅思和托福的区别
周六(12月17日)的本年度一场新GRE考试果然给人们带来了小小的惊喜:部分考生的作文题居然和两周前(12月3日)的题目一模一样。
据考生的回忆,被重复考的是以下这道Argument题目:
The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
这是新G的Argument题库第7题。我的几位学生在12月3日的G考中抽中的也是这道。只不过上次抽中这道题的考生大都来自北京、上海、西安等考区,而此次反映抽到这道题目的考生多来自(据各大G考论坛的不完全统计)湖南、浙江和福建考区,并且重复的题目仅限于Argument。
即便如此,这也已经是很值得我们高度关注的现象。在连续多场时间不同的考试中反复出现内容相同/相似的题目或者表现出题目选择上的一些共性,很可能意味着新GRE考试“机经”时代的到来。
ETS在2000至2001年间,由于其用来实施GRE机考的题库偏小,曾连续出现不同场次的考试题目大面积相同的情况。结果造成当时的中国大陆考区“机经”风行,GRE满分考生数量骤然增加;GRE考试本身的公信力因此遭受质疑,直接导致了GRE考试形式在中国大陆的改革。
此次新G在全球开考不过刚刚五个月,但已经显示出题目重复的端倪。未来这一趋势如何变化,且让我们拭目以待。
除此之外,我的学生在此次G考中普遍表现正常。虽然他们中没有谁抽到上面那道题,但我在课上向他们强调的学习理念和备考方法足可令他们面对任何作文题目都波澜不惊、从容应对。
但昨天(12月18日)午后收到的一封来自南京考生的电邮却提到一个也许值得广大G友关注的问题,即:如何把Argument写长?
这位考生抽到的Issue和Argument题目分别如下:
Issue:
Many important discoveries or creations are accidental: it is usually while seeking the answer to one question that we come across the answer to another.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Argument:
The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.
"Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years in Palm City, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
单就文章的字数而言,该考生感觉Issue写得还行。他的Issue字数写到了403,并且整个写作过程感觉思路清晰、行文流畅。但问题是他的Argument才写到了364个字。
这个结果很让我意外。一般而言,考生往往会觉得Issue很难写长。他们经常是在摆出自己的观点和若干分论点、并简单陈述几条理由后,就觉得无话好说了。所以,相当一部分的GRE考生的Issue作文很难超过360个字。但Argument的长度写不到380个字的考生并不多。在我的GRE班上,同学们一般都能将Argu写到450字以上。
“我知道写Argu的主要任务就是挑题目中的逻辑漏洞。但我的问题是,在找出题目中两三个逻辑漏洞之后,下一步就不知道该干什么了,觉得好像没什么可讲了似的。”这位同学在信里如此说道。
他的这一番话说出了问题的实质。他的问题主要出在两方面:,他把Argument写作仅仅当作寻找题目中逻辑漏洞的过程;第二,也是最关键的,他没能对Argument中的观点展开有效“论证”。
我在关于新G考试的作文系列点评(之四)中曾专门强调过:新版GRE写作实际逼迫我们必须要放弃通过找寻逻辑漏洞来求解Argument的思路,转而从每个Argument中所运用的论证方法入手;否则,部分Argu题目的分析必然陷入死胡同。”
为什么这么说呢?道理非常简单:所有所谓的“逻辑漏洞”本质上都是有缺陷的论证方法;只是因为这些“有缺陷的论证方法”过于典型,人们才管它们叫作“逻辑漏洞”。如果用数学上集合的概念来表达的话,可以说成是“逻辑漏洞”的集合小于或包含于“论证方法”的集合。
也就是说,如果单单用寻找逻辑漏洞的办法来求解Argument的话,我们很可能会发现部分Argument题目根本没有所谓的“逻辑漏洞”,但对其中的论证方法却可以轻易找出其论证缺陷。关于这个问题,请读者参看以下链接:(59/n-6459.html )
但这位同学的问题更好像是在第二方面,即:如何对Argument中的观点展开有效“论证”。
读到这里,部分读者可能会很诧异:难道Argument也要论证吗?
是的。不仅仅是Issue需要论证,Argument的写作过程也要“论证”,尽管这个论证要显得单调和机械一些。
为了说明这一点,我们可以先来看看ETS给出的Argument作文的评分标准。ETS是这样描述6分(即满分)Argument作文要满足的条件的:
Clearly identifies aspects of the argument relevant to the assigned task and examines them insightfully
Develops ideas cogently, organizes them logically and connects them with clear transitions
Provides compelling and thorough support for its main points
Conveys ideas fluently and precisely, using effective vocabulary and sentence variety
Demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English (i.e., grammar, usage and mechanics), but may have minor errors
这五大条件中,后两条是关于语言表达的;比较而言,前三条更为重要。条要求考生“结合写作指引的要求,对题目中的论证过程进行清晰而独到(clear & insightful)的梳理(identification & examination)”,也就是要找出其论证缺陷;第二条要求考生对发现的论证缺陷进行“富有逻辑的展开(developing cogently and logically)”。
那第三条说的是什么呢?中文表述是这样的:“为行文的要点提供充分而令人信服的支持(compelling and thorough support)”。而“充分而令人信服的支持”恰恰就是论证的过程。
所以说,Argument写作也需要论证。即是说,我们不仅要找出Argu题目中的论证缺陷和逻辑错误,还要论证为什么它们是论证缺陷和逻辑错误。
具体如何论证Argument题目中的论证缺陷和逻辑错误就是论证缺陷和逻辑错误呢?很简单,有四个步骤:
, 讲明推理/论证的缺陷和谬误。也就是说,作者要明确指出为什么某个地方可以被认为是推理/论证错误和漏洞?它错在哪里?
第二, 给出另外一种或多种解释。例如,题目中说事件A是事件B的原因。如果作者认为A不是B的原因,他就应该指出真正的原因可能是什么,并论证这个真正原因成立的可能性。
第三, 举出例证。同样,假如题目说事件A是事件B的原因。如果作者认为A不是B的原因,他只需举出若干例证就行了,实际发生的例证或者假设的例证皆可。
第四, 应当对题目中的推理/论证缺陷和谬误进行怎样的修正?即,怎样做才能避免或者消除题目中的推理/论证缺陷和谬误。
具体该怎么做,我们看一看下面这个链接中ETS所提供的一篇6分新版ARGUMENT范文就一清二楚了:
( http://www.ets.org/gre/revised_general/prepare/analytical_writing/argument/sample_responses )
这篇满分范文的作者在其正文部分讲述了三个分论点,也就是题目中的三大论证缺陷;他对每个论证缺陷的“论证”都是对上述四个步骤的全部或部分运用。
比如其正文段的如下内容:“Citing surveys of city residents, the author reports city resident's love of water sports. It is not clear, however, the scope and validity of that survey. For example, the survey could have asked residents if they prefer using the river for water sports or would like to see a hydroelectric dam built, which may have swayed residents toward river sports. The sample may not have been representative of city residents, asking only those residents who live upon the river. The survey may have been 10 pages long, with 2 questions dedicated to river sports. We just do not know. Unless the survey is fully representative, valid, and reliable, it can not be used to effectively back the author's argument.”
在本段中,作者针对题目中论者使用的统计数据论证法,直接指出其错在哪里,即,对其调查数据的真实性、客观性和可靠性提出了质疑:“It is not clear, however, (whether) the scope and validity of that survey (is reliable).”这是论者推理/论证过程中的个重大缺陷和谬误。
那么,作者又是如何对这个缺陷和谬误展开分析的呢?他选择了论者的统计数据论证法中的各个逻辑链条,即:
其一,“The survey could have asked residents if they prefer using the river for water sports or would like to see a hydroelectric dam built, which may have swayed residents toward river sports.”
其二,“The sample may not have been representative of city residents, asking only those residents who live upon the river.”
其三,“The survey may have been 10 pages long, with 2 questions dedicated to river sports.”
这三个与调查统计相关的逻辑错误依次是:其一,误导性的调查问题设计;其二,调查样本的代表性不足;其三,论者的调查和数据不够充分(或者是断章取义)。到此,作者不仅点明了论者统计数据论证法中的缺陷和谬误,而且通过提供其他解释或者举例的方式,解释了它错在哪里、为什么是错的。
随后,论者又指出了论者应当如何对他的统计数据论证法中的谬误和缺陷进行修正:“Unless the survey is fully representative, valid, and reliable, it can not be used to effectively back the author's argument.”
怎么样?这是不是一个完整而漂亮的对推理/论证缺陷和谬误的分析和展开呢?这一点其实我们大家都做得到。
对这个问题,在之前的一篇点评文章中实际上我已经从不同的角度谈过,链接如下:(31/n-6531.html) 。看过这篇文章后,大家对该如何理解Argument的写作指引,并如何展开“论证”会更清楚。
有关新GRE的Argument写作如何分析、展开、解释、论证等问题,在我的专著《新GRE写作5.5》中有详细阐述。该书是我的原作《GRE写作5.5》的全新修订版,上个月已由外研社出版,在各大书店以及当当网和卓越网上都可买到。《新GRE写作5.5》还包括对新GRE全部Issue和Argument题库题目的详细题纲和分析提示,有兴趣的同学和读者可以找来一读。
作者简介:北京新航道学校GRE写作、托福写作、托福词 汇主讲。中国人民大学国际关系学院硕士,记者;在境内外主要英文媒体从事新闻报道逾15年,曾供职过的报纸和通讯社包括China Daily (中国日报),Global Times (环球时报),AFX-Asia (亚太金融新闻社),South China Morning Post (南华早报);英文写作功力深厚扎实,对GRE、托福、雅思、SAT、ACT等留学考试类写作有精深研究和独到体悟,有专著《GRE写作5.5》,独创 GRE作文“1+5”写作模型。
(责编:王超)
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