It's hard enough to make local relationships work, but having mile, States, and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here's how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.

　　Step:

　　1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged)as well defining exclusive(limited to one person,) non exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?". Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.

　　2. Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... people in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously. For an extensive list of more things you can do with each other (or for each other) click here: Over 70 Activities & Ideas for LDR Couples!

　　3. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!

　　4. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

　　5. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

　　6. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.

　　7. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

　　8. Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. You have to remember that for a healthy relationship, no matter how far or close, you must be willing to let go.

　　9. Remember: things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.

　　10. Visit often Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive.

　　11. Avoid jealousy and be trusting One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won't pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

　　12. Be positive Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don't have "face-to-face" time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

　　13. Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.

　　经营一段恋爱已经足够让人心力交瘁了，更何况当两人之间隔着几英里的距离，或者是一个州，要么是一片海洋。但是，成功的异地恋确实存在着。以下这些教你把握每一个机会，让你的异地恋“长寿和繁荣”(live long and prosper)。

　　步骤：

　　1.首先要弄明白一些很重要的问题，从而更清晰地认识你们两人的关系。用些术语来定义一下你们的关系吧，仅仅是想偶尔约会?或是经常见面?男女朋友?或者是要订婚了。对于形单影只的家伙，来定义一下你是不是个独身主义者呢。回答这些问题确实又困难又尴尬，不过这真的会免去你永无止境的头疼和误解。譬如：“如果我们的关系更进一步，你会考虑搬家吗?”或是：“你想从我们的关系中获取什么呢?”阐明你的目标和理念会让两个人为了这些而共同经营下去。

　　2.统一协作，藐视距离。很重要的一点，作为一对可怜的异地情侣，除了打电话你们还应该一起做些别的事。长期打电话是不是很无聊?尝试一些其他形式的协作吧。想想看，非异地的情侣们绝不会花很多的时间去打电话，而是一起去找些什么事情做。你们也要尝试着这样做，尽量找点可以一起做的事情，同时看看一样的电视或电影。期待一个关于协作活动的项目清单吗?猛点这里：适用于异地情侣的70几件活动和鬼主意!

　　3.不管怎么着，每天都交流。并且尽可能的多些吧。尽管你们看不到对方，但是建立和维持情绪上的沟通十分重要。并不总是需要冗长而又有深度的交流。告诉对方你的小成就或是小挫折。问问该怎么办。发发短信或是聊聊QQ，要不去文华楼视频。电子邮件是个好东西，不要不用哦。尤其是长途电话让你的钱包吃紧时。也别忘了电子邮件和短信可能会引起你们之间的误解。写封情书吧。或是在校内上送个没理由的小礼物。这样，交流的数量就会和质量一样重要了。你会发现你甚至比那些非异地恋的同学们有个优势：你们不会把交流视为例行工事。

　　4.发现异地带来的优势吧：更多的时间陪伴你的朋友和家人，不会为鸡毛算皮的小事争吵，小别胜新婚，当你遇到对方提出的无理要求(异地应该会通过电子邮件)或是其他类似情况时，你有更多的时间揣摩你的选择(而不是像非异地那样给你的爱人当头一棒)。更重要的是，你们之间的距离让你保持你的个性，这东西会在情侣每天的你你我我中丧失掉。

　　5.追求共同的爱好，即使是分别地追求。如果有一个你们都感兴趣的电影上映了，那么各自去看，然后电话交流观后感。同时阅读一本书。打电话时一起做白日梦。让你们的手表每时每刻都显示相同的数字，让你们的闹钟同时响起，在每天的某一时刻同时思念对方，体会此刻对方也在思念你的甜蜜。发挥你的创造力，让你们更贴近彼此。

　　6.忘却完全控制对方的邪念。人生来平等，没有人可以或是应该被其他的人控制。既然你们决定选择这段异地恋情，就要接受这个事实，何况这和异地也没有必然的联系。如果一方觉得和另一方不是很合得来，或是有了更好的对象，那么不过你们是分离3000英尺，或是两个街区，再或是睡在一张床上而墙面上还挂着你们的婚纱照，你们的关系都玩完了。相反，只要你们的关系还在继续，那就要完全的相信对方。

　　7.谈论你们的未来。假设你们希望能够在一起生活，那么就谈谈你们如何才能达到这个目标，这些会让对方明白你们的感情会有个结果，你们的努力和辛苦都不会白白浪费。

　　8.知道怎么说再见。对任何类型的感情来说，再见一刻都不好受，对异地来说更是这样。当时间或说不出来的原因让交流变成只言片语或无比罕见，当争吵(恩，你们会的)频频现身，当整个形势沦为本不该成为的大累赘。那么，是时候重新审视你们的感情了。必须记住，对于健康的感情，无论咫尺或是天涯，该放手时就放开吧。

　　9.记住：随着时间的嘀嗒，事情会越来越好的，甚至感情也会越来越好。别怀疑。

　　10.多见面吧。你的时间允许，你的预算允许，那能多见面就多见面吧。只打电话感情不会枝繁叶茂的。只要有机会，就要真人面对面。这方面的秘诀是建立一系列关于日常交流和见面的“制度”，坚持执行，以保住你们异地恋的小命儿。

　　11.不要妒嫉，要信任。嫉妒和过激是杀死健康感情很有效的毒药。当你决定开始一段异地恋时，你必须认识到前路艰难。当没有什么能证明事实并不是如此时，你应该认为每个人都天真无邪、值得相信的，这会利于你们的关系。不要掉入诸如此类的陷阱：质问你的另一半当他想去和你不认识的人儿们喝点儿酒，或是没有马上回你的电话或短信。虽然你们是异地，但是我们的生活不是还在继续?你，或是你的另一半当然应该在各自的圈子里有各自的社交生活。你当然不能放任他/她完全自由，也不要太傻太天真，但是过度的狐疑不会利于你们的关系。过你们自己的社交生活，让各自都快乐吧。

　　12.乐观些。保持乐观，避免悲观是让你的感情怒放，让对方满足的必要条件。没有在你的爱人身边并没有那么惨。利于这个机会做你喜欢做的事，完成你的工作目标吧。另一个是长距离的恋爱让你们更具创造性，虽然没有“面对面”的交流，但却会有更好的交流结果，测验彼此的感觉。既然你相信你们的异地状态只是暂时的，那就扬起你的小下巴，把这份安全又愉悦的感受传递给你的他/她吧。

　　13.异地恋不过就是一份情侣间平衡的感情;建立在信任，理解和决心基础上的感情必将有所收获。两个人应当理性地对待他们共同的期待和意愿，共同努力，这样这份感情就会修成正果。如果以上这些因素都被认真地考虑了，好了，那就别担心了。

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