5. Be good to yourself.
善待自己
“The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.”
这世界上的医生是合理饮食,适当安静,快快乐乐。
It’s nowadays common to run yourself into the ground and then, as you feel like a shadow of your former self, to seek help.
你跌倒了,在你内心总是存在以前的阴影,去寻找帮助吧。
But a big part of keeping your health – mentally and physically – in good shape is to prevent problems before they even show up and force you to go to the doctor.
保持健康的一个诀窍(不论精神上的或身体上的)就是在病出现你不得不去看医生之前有效防止它们的发生。
Swift brings some common sense into this challenge. By doing simple things consistently, by making them ingrained habits one can avoid many problems down the line.
斯威夫特在这点上和我们存在共识。坚持做这些简单的事情,并养成良好的习惯可以防止这些问题到严重的发生。
· Doctor Diet. Eat not too little or too much. Eat slowly to really enjoy the taste and avoid overeating, an upset stomach and added stress.
· 合理饮食。不要吃太多或太少。慢慢吃好像自己在享受美食的味道避免暴饮暴食,这样你就会胃很不舒服并且增加你内心的压力。
· Doctor Quiet. Always being around noise and other people can drain you. It’s important to find some quiet time for yourself regularly to avoid being overloaded. Being out in nature is one good way to reconnect with the quiet and stillness and is often forgotten in the busy daily life.
· 适当安静。如果经常处在一个喧闹的环境中你就会没有自己的空间。为自己有规律的安排点时间避免过载负荷。到野外走走是回归宁静的一个好办法,它会暂时忘却繁忙的日常生活。
· Doctor Merryman. How happy and positive one wants to feel is often to a large degree a choice. You can cultivate a negative attitude towards everything. Or a positive one. A few tips for creating a positive and optimistic attitude can be found here, here and also here.
· 快快乐乐。快乐和积极的态度往往很大程度上在于自己的选择。你可以自己选择自己是消极还是积极。保持积极的秘诀是随时挖掘自己的快乐,快乐不再他处,就在这里。
Now, this may sound like almost stupidly simple advice. And the information is very simple. Many very helpful things are very simple.
这看起来是不是有点太简单了。其实很多有用的东西都很简单。
More advanced tips may sound intriguing because one may associate complicated with better. But everything has to have foundations. Without those everything you build on top of them will only work at a limited capacity or sometimes just crumble.
许多锦言看起来很模糊,那是因为人们总是以为好的就是复杂的。但是任何东西都有一定的基础做铺垫。没有这些基础你说笃信的只可能在一定范围内发挥效用有时甚至是支离破碎的。
6. Put down the extra, unnecessary baggage you are carrying.
甩掉那多余的,不必要的负担
“The latter part of a wise person’s life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier.”
聪明人知道如何改变自己以前形成的愚笨,偏见和虚伪。
We pick a whole lot when we are young. Some of it is helpful. A lot of it will hold you back and create a lot of unnecessary suffering in your life.
年轻时候我们学会了很多东西,一些是有用的。但是有些是不好的会在生活中给你带来很多不必要的苦恼。
You may have learned things from society - or sometimes gotten stuff drilled into your head - when you were young. You may have taken what someone said or did to you once or repeatedly as an absolute truth about you and your life.
年轻时候你会从社会中学到很多东西,这些东西深刻于你的头脑里。你会相信有些人的说法和言行并把他当作你生活中的真理重复着做。
But as a grown up, as you start to examine your life and beliefs you may discover that those things was just things that happened. They are in the past. You are here now.
但是随着你的长大,你开始发现这些东西都过时了,他们只使用于过去,而你生活在现在。
And by grasping that it’s you who are always in control of your life - that you are creating it right now - you understand that unhelpful beliefs or what happened doesn’t have to mean that much really.
了解到真是你自己才真正控制这你自己的生活,你终于理解那些所谓的信念并不是那么有用或不可颠破。
You can choose to drop them and continue with a lightness in your step down a road that you are creating for yourself now.
你可以选择适当的放弃他们然后用适合你自己的步伐照亮自己的未来。
7. Learn to create a connection.
“Good manners is the art of making those people easy with who we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room.”
好的礼貌是可以使我们交谈的人更加容易接触的艺术。谁让更少的人感觉自然谁就是房间里的明星。
A big chunk of social skills seems to be making other people feeling comfortable and good about themselves. To create and exchange a stream of positive emotions.
一个很重要的社交技巧就是如何交流过程中如何让别人感觉舒服和自我良好。这时你需要创造和交流形成一个积极的情感氛围。
How do you go about doing that in a practical way? A few suggestions:
在实际交往中你准备怎么做那?几个建议:
· Like yourself. I think this is very important because a person who likes him/herself is someone people find appealing. This is however not something that may be that easy for everyone. People may see themselves as ugly, stupid, poor or something along those negative lines.
A few tips that you can apply - over a longer time-period - is to stop comparing yourself to other people, taking tip # 3 in this article to heart and start looking at the positive in yourself and following the tip above and start weeding out old beliefs about life and yourself that doesn’t help you anymore. You can also check out 9 Great Ways to Make Yourself Absolutely Miserable for more stuff to avoid doing to yourself.
· 自信。我认为这是很重要的一点因为一个人自信了才能让别人感觉有吸引力。但是对每个人来说这并不是容易做到的。你可能会觉得自己丑陋,愚蠢,贫穷或者其他消极的方面。
你可以试试以下几点:看一下《不要和别人过多比较》,把文章中的第三条记在心里并且照着上面说说的建议开始摒弃那些关于自己和生活对你无益的信念。你也可以尝试阅读《9个让你痛不欲生的做法》了解更多而避免犯类似的错误。
· Be interested in the other person. This one is connected to the previous point about liking yourself. Because when you like yourself you don’t need other people to validate you all the time as you hog the spotlight. You may choose to stand in the spotlight, but there is less of a craving for it. And now it becomes easier to shift your focus from “me, me, me!” to the person you are talking to. It becomes easier to be genuinely interested and create a connection. Have a look at Five Awesome and Five Awful Conversation Topics for more on this.
· 对别人表现出兴趣。这点和上一点相信你自己是有关联的。因为你自信了你就不需要感觉在别人眼里你是否是焦点。你会自己选择站在聚光灯下,但是你会感觉这根本没有必要。现在就需要把焦点从自己身上转换到你要交流的人身上,这样就会很简单的让别人产生兴趣获得交流。你可以尝试阅读《五点很棒的和五点很糟糕的谈话要点》了解更多。
· Be warm, open and positive. Well, people tend to like warm, open and positive people. And most people reflect back the behaviour they encounter. So creating such habits for yourself can go a long way in relationships with other people. A quick tip for going into an interaction in the right frame of mind is by assuming rapport.
· 热情,开放和积极。人们倾向于喜欢热情,开放和积极的人,并且人们会把他们这些精神因素反射回来。所以养成这些习惯将会对你以后和人们的交际大有裨益。进入交流你需要注意的一点就是你首先要在你的意思里创造融洽。
8. Be open to the idea that you can always learn.
开放你的思想你就会一直进步
“No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life, as not to receive new information from age and experience.”
在生活中没有人一直能对什么都应付自如,除非他不断从年龄和经历中不断吸取知识。
Being open to this will open up your mind. If you think you know everything, great insights will just pass you by.
保持开放的心态就会开放你的思想,如果你以为你已经无所不知,那么深刻的见解就会错过。
By being open you’ll see, feel and learn things you wouldn’t otherwise. But be careful of focusing too much on learning from books, blogs etc. They have a place and can help you correct things may have done backwards for all of your life.
保持开放的思想你就会不断的感觉和学习知识。但是要注意你放在书本和博客上的精力。它们可以帮助你改正那些可能使你生活倒退的东西。
But the most important thing is to live. And to learn from your experiences. Because it is there you find true understanding of things.
最重要的事情是学会生活,同时从你的经验里学习。因为正是在那里你才能学会生活的真谛。