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Making small talk doesn't have to be painful, even if it's with a boss you want to impress or blind date you want to see alot more of! Believe it or not, making small talk can be fun - even for quiet personality types. Making small talk is also an art that can be learned.
"So…how about this weather?" doesn't often lead to stimulating dialogue (but don't hesitate to use it if you're desperate). If you must make small talk about the weather, be specific. Say, "It'sfreezingcold outside – have you ever heard that saying, 'colder than ________' ? Where did that come from, anyway?" might work better, depending on who you're talking to.
Making small talk can be difficult even if you're an extrovert, but it's especially difficult for introverts. Here's how to enjoy making small talk.
How to Make Small Talk: 10 Tips for Starting Conversations With People You Don't Know
1. Keep up with current events.Make small talk about the news, sports, your community, or politics (unless politics is too controversial. On second thought, that can generate some pretty fiery dialogues!)
2. Comment on a piece of clothing or accessory. Ask where it came from, what the significance is, how much it cost (just kidding). Making small talk is about being observant about people you don't know well.
3. Pay attention to what they're saying.When you're making small talk, follow up on phrases; for instance, if they say they're "excellent", ask why – ask where you can get some. If they mention that they're exhausted, follow up on it. When you're making small talk, remember that great conversations and good connections can be just around the corner.
4. Share an anecdote about your day.Did you lose your keys or find $10? Maybe you ate at a new restaurant recently, or found a great new CD. Making small talk is about sharing the little things.
5. Ask what movies or books they've seen or read recently.Someone once asked me that at a party. Admittedly, at first it felt contrived, but then we had a fantastic conversation about the book I was reading! Making small talk is about trying new conversations.
6. Talk about tv.Share your favourite tv shows - whether it's Oprah's revelation of The Secret or the your favorite sitcom. If you're Canadian, Little Mosque on the Prairie might be interesting to discuss! Making small talk about pop culture is easy and fun.
7. Recall your past conversations with the same person.Ask if their son is still ill or how the Mexican holiday went. Making small talk is easier when your memory is good.
8. Ask open-ended questions that require an explanation.For instance, "How are you?" isn't as effective as "Whatever happened with '__________' you were dealing with?" ('__________' could be a business deal, family problem, or financial investment) Remember that anything is a potential topic of conversation.You can even talk about how uncomfortable you are making small talk – and ask them how they do it.
9. Relax.Enjoy yourself. People are interesting! If you combine these tips for making small talk with sincere interest, you'll embark on a fascinating conversational ride.
10. Let it go.If the conversation feels like dragging a piano uphill then it may be time to move on or let silence take over. You can't connect with everyone, and some conversations simply refuse to take life! Making small talk involves knowing when it's time to move on.
其实,和别人聊天不一定是件痛苦的事,即便对方是你期待能对你留下好印象的老板,抑或是你希望能多见面的相亲对象。
信不信由你,和不熟的人聊天也可以变得很有趣,即便是对性格比较安静的人而言。当然,这也是一门艺术,需要去学习。
“...今天天气如何?” 这样的干涩的开场白很难引出有趣的对话 (但是,如果你很急切找到一个对话的切入点,那不妨先将就着用这句话吧)。如果你必须要把谈论天气作为开场,那,就尽量来点特殊的方式,比如说,“ 外面简直冷的刺骨 呀 ——你有听过这么一句话吗,‘比______还冷’?这话到底是谁说的来着....?" 用这种方式,效果肯定会好的多,自然,这也取决于你是在和谁说话。
如何和陌生人很好的闲聊,这无论对外向的人,还是内向的人,都不是件容易的事。以下是一些可以帮助你把聊天变得有趣的小贴士:
10个小贴士教你如何和陌生人聊天:
1.与时俱进,跟上时事:可以聊当下发生的新闻、(流行的)运动、社区或者政治 (政治话题要避免选择很有争议的内容,那样也许会引发太过激烈的辩论)
2.适度的赞扬对方的衣服或者小装饰品:可以问对方是哪儿买的,为什么买呀,多少钱(开个玩笑,这个可以不必问吧)之类的。你和不熟悉的人聊天,一定要善于观察。
3.善于倾听:在聊天时,要时刻表现出对对方话题的关注和兴趣。举个例子吧,如果对方说 “他们简直太棒了”,你就接着问“为什么?”或者问“到哪儿才能尝试下这些很棒的东西.....”如果对方说很累,同样的就‘累’这个话题发挥下去。请记住,成功的闲聊和建立好的关系其实很简单,没你想的那么遥不可及。
4.和对方分享你的经历:可以分享生活中的一些琐碎小事,例如丢了钥匙,捡到了10美金,又或者是最近发现一个很好的新餐馆,或新CD之类的事情......
5.问对方近期看了什么电影或读了什么书:我次被人问到类似的为题是在一个聚会上。我承认,当听到这个问题的瞬间,觉得对方很做作,可接下来关于书的话题却让我们俩都意犹未尽,十分开心。所以,闲聊,也需要尝试更多新的话题。
6.一起聊聊电视剧吧:和对方分享你最喜欢的电视节目,无论是关于奥普拉脱口秀,抑或是你喜欢的情景喜剧。如果你是加拿大人,就聊聊《大草原上的小清真寺》(加拿大CBC台喜剧)!谈论一些流行的文化也是既轻松又有趣的话题。
7.聊聊以前你们聊过的事:问问对方的儿子是不是还病着?墨西哥假日是怎么过的?如果你的记性够好,那么也可以让聊天变得更简单
8.问些开放性的问题:例如,“你好吗?“就是一个闭合性问题,这个问题不可能让对方有机会说更多的内容。但是如果你将问题设置成开放型的就有效的多,如“你和___到底怎么了?”; “你(___可以是工作相关,家庭问题,理财投资等等)处理的怎么样了?记住,任何事情都可以成为潜在的话题。你甚至可以告诉对方你不太擅长与人闲聊,你也可以问问对方是怎么能做的这么好呢?
9.放松:享受聊天的过程,每个人都是很有趣的个体!如果你综合以上的小贴士,并充满兴趣的与别人聊天,那么你离成功已经不远了
10.顺其自然:如果你们的对话感觉像是硬要把钢琴推到山顶,那么也许是时候进行新的话题,或者就稍微停一停,暂时什么都别说了。 毕竟你不可能和每个人都聊的那么顺畅和开心