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Like most children, my own brood complains constantly about my style of parenting. "You’re always saying 'No'," they complain, as I tell them they can’t have yet more mayonnaise on their dinner.
像大多数孩子们一样,我自己的孩子也一直抱怨我对他们的养育方式。晚饭时当我告诉他们不能再吃蛋黄酱的时侯,他们抱怨说"你总是说'不'。"
"It’s bad for you," I say. "So, no, you can’t."
我说:"再吃对你们的健康不好,不,你们不能再吃了。"
"You say no to everything,"says Leonard, aged eight.
八岁的Leonard说:"你对任何事情都说不。"
He and his younger siblings — Jerry, six, and Ottoline, three — then list everything I have said ‘No’ to since they got home from school. Sweets, playing outside with their uniform on, biscuits, getting stuff out from drawer, painting?…
他和弟弟妹妹们——6岁的Jerry和3岁的Ottoline列了一张清单,上面写着他们从学校回家后我说的所有的"不"。糖果、在外面穿着校服玩、饼干、从抽屉里拿东西、画画……
I’ve always considered myself a pretty easy-going parent, and yet here they are telling me I’m a nay-saying harridan.
我一直认为我是一个脾气很好的妈妈,但是他们竟然说我是一个总说"不"的老巫婆。
According to the currently fashionable idea of ‘free parenting’, though, what I should be saying is ‘Yes’.
然而根据最近流行的"亲子养育"观点,我应该说"是"。
It’s particularly interesting to me because I recently decided to try an experiment. In the style of ‘free parenting’, I would say yes to everything my children wanted for an entire week — and see what happened.
因为最近我想做一个实验,所以这就对我来说特别有趣。根据"亲子养育"的方式,在整整一个星期内,我要对我的孩子的要求通通说"是",然后看看效果如何。
The only rules were not to let the children know what I’d decided to do, and to ensure that I alerted them to the consequences of their actions, so they could make their own well-informed choices.
的规则是不让孩子知道我在做什么,并且确保已经对他们的行为做出了提醒,然后让他们做出自己的选择。
But what if they wanted to swing on the curtains and to paint the walls red? What if my teenage son, 14-year-old Raymond, wanted to bring girls home every night and smoke? What would I say then?
但是如果他们想要在窗帘上"荡秋千",或者想要把墙全涂成红色呢?倘若我14岁的儿子Raymond晚上想要带女孩子们回家或者吸烟呢?那么我该说什么呢?
There was only one way to find out?…
只有一种方法可以知道……