What happened to the runaway lovers in ancient China?

古代私奔的结局

“Elopement” is a term or an event with some sort of mysteriousness. In China, stories about runaway lovers are quite a lot. Some may wonder, what eventually happened to the runaway lovers, or if there were happy endings to those brave lovers.

“私奔”总是个神秘的话题。在中国，也有很多关于私奔的故事。你也许会好奇：私奔最终会有怎样的结局，那些勇敢的情侣们会有个圆满的结局吗？

In ancient China, elopement mainly referred to the act of running away with one’s beloved. The lovers, usually not able to gain approval of marriage from parents, had to resort to a secret runaway. Mostly the female lover would follow her beloved male lover.

在古代中国，私奔是指和所爱的人一起逃跑。情侣们的婚姻得不到父母的支持，不得不选择秘密逃跑。通常，是女方跟随男方逃跑。

In fact, “elopement” seldom happened in ordinary households. In the rich or official families, as the young generation received a relatively higher education, there were cases of young lovers going against their parents’ wish and running away for marriage freedom. However, as the act did not accord with the value of “arranging a match by parents’ order and on the matchmaker’s word” which was much advocated by the feudal ethics, not many stories of runaway lovers have been handed down.

事实上，在普通家庭中，私奔是很少发生的。在一些权贵家庭，年轻一代所接受的教育水平比较高，容易背离父母一辈的期望，为了婚姻自由而私奔。但是由于私奔的行为不符合“父母之命，媒妁之言”的封建传统价值观，流传下来的关于私奔的故事相当之少。

Among the numbered cases, the romance of Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun is the most renowned one, and also one of the rare successes. Sima Xiangru was a poor lad from obscure background, in modern words, he was the one “without house, without car, without money and without card.” Yet by pure chance he moved Zhuo Wenjun, a lady from a rich family, with a guqin-accompanied song, The Male Phoenix Seeks His Mate. After the two eloped, Sima Xiangru was still the same talented scholar with little wealth, and Zhuo Wenjun had to sell liquor in the market despite her eminent family background, turning herself into a peddler – as modern people put it. Fortunately, both of them cherished their hard-earned relation, so the ending was generally happy. Yet judging from the long history, more of the eloping girls did not end so well: a lot becoming one of the many concubines, feeling depressed; and some being cheated, deserted by their beloved in the end.

在屈指可数的案例中，司马相如和卓文君的爱情故事最为，也是极少数获得成功的案例之一。司马相如出身平庸，用现在的话说就是“无房无车没钱没卡”一族。但是他居然用一曲古琴《凤求凰》打动了富家小姐卓文君。两个人私奔后，司马相如仍然是个一贫如洗的穷书生，而卓文君不得不由富家千金沦为卖酒小贩。幸运的是，两个人都很珍惜这段来之不易的感情，所以故事有一个不错的结局。但是，如果纵观历史，更多女子在私奔后的结局都没有这么美好：很多沦为小妾，郁郁终生，还有些甚至被出轨的爱人所抛弃。

The ancient Chinese society had a severe punishment for those “eloping” lovers. If a man was caught eloping, his name would be removed from the family temple, his land be confiscated, and his body tied to a door plank, beaten by stick until he was severely hurt or even dead; the girl would be either forced to go home or drowned in the well. If the girl was born in a more prominent family, the poor lad would be evicted out of the family’s sphere of influence. No matter the eloper was man or woman, the family of the elopers would feel unable to “hold up their heads” in their living circle.

古代中国社会对私奔的情侣有一种严厉的惩罚。如果男子私奔被捉到，他会被从家庙中除名，拥有的土地被没收，而人则会被绑在门板上用木棍抽打直至重伤甚至死去。女子如果私奔被捉，或者是被休回家，或者被扔到井里淹死。如果女子出生名门，她则会被驱逐出家族的势力范围。不管私奔的是男子还是女子，家里人都会因此在邻里中“抬不起头”。