Dear Twentysomething-year-old Me,

亲爱的20多岁的我：

1. When that man you have a crush on asks, "Are you a good girl or a bad girl?" laugh in his face, spin on your heel and ignore his calls.

当那个你喜欢的男孩问“你是个好女孩还是个坏女孩”时，冲他笑笑，转身走开，忽略他打给你的电话。

2. Wear sunscreen. At least around your eyes and above your currently pert upper lip's cupid's bow.

要擦防晒霜。至少在眼睛周围，和你现在完美唇形的上唇边缘要擦。

3. Just because you share blood with people doesn't mean you have to give them the time of day if they are hell-bent on making you feel small, misunderstood and wrong. You've given them enough chances. Cut the cord.

就算是你的血脉至亲，也别允许他们肆意藐视你、误解你、无端指责你。你已经给了他们很多机会了。请拜托他们的束缚。

4. Sign up for small automatic savings deposits that kick in every time you get paid. You'll be making down payments on your own future freedom.

办理小额的储蓄存款通存业务，每次你发工资就可以存些钱。你在为将来会获得的自由预知账单。

5. Rejection is not a sign that you should stop doing what you love. It is married to doing what you love. It should not be kneecapping you. Embrace it.

被拒绝不意味着你应该放弃那些爱好，追求自己的爱好必然会遇到挫折，别让挫折阻止你，拥抱挫折。

6. If you have a problem with a valued friend, bite the bullet and talk about it. Don't just disappear on her or him.

如果你与某个重要的朋友不和，放下面子，和他（她）谈谈。不要仅仅从他（她）眼前消失。

7. Tell the truth. People really do sense it when you lie to them, and it makes them distrust you or themselves. It's the darndest thing.

说实话。别人真的可以感觉到你在说谎，这会让他人对你或他们自己产生不信任感。说实话是一件超赞的事情。

8. You were raised to think that you should be married well before 30 -- and that everything else you fill your life with adds up to failure if you remain single. That's a giant bucket of steaming dookie. Be choosy. The happiness you're chasing is actually suffusing your life right now. You will look back on this time very wistfully when you've got spit-up in your hair and a husband who expects hot meals, a sparkling-clean house and you to resemble the cutie he married.

你的成长环境使你觉得你应该早在30岁之前成婚——如果你30岁还单身，就会觉得生活中其他一切都是失败的。这种想法太小题大做了。当你头发开始分叉，丈夫等着吃饭，刚把房子打扫干净，而你本人已经不是丈夫当年娶的小可爱的时候，你会非常渴望回到现在的时光。

9. Reconnect with your gut. I know you were raised to ignore it, and to first please others. Without a connection to your gut, you have no compass. Listen to it. If it squawks, pay attention. The more you listen to it, the more you'll avoid messy/self-destructive detours and align with your own satisfying path.

重新关注自己的内心。我知道你的成长环境教会你首先取悦别人，而忽略自己的内心。但是如果你不去关注自己的心，就无法同情他人。倾听自己的心吧。如果你的心在抱怨，你就必须注意了。对自己的心倾听的越多，你就越能够避免自暴自弃的倾向，而能够把握自娱自乐的心境。

10. You are so beautiful right now. Your skin is amazing. Your metabolism is forgiving. You have epic amounts of energy and curiosity. Do not look to others to fuel up your self-esteem. You're made of awesome. Own it and others will see it.

现在的你是如此美丽。你的皮肤美呆了，你的新陈代谢很旺盛。你的精力和好奇心都处于顶点。不要靠模仿别人来满足自己的自尊心。你本身已经很赞了。把握住这种气场，周围的人都会看到。

11. Go easier on your mother. Every single thing that annoys and disappoints you about her will be something you recognize in yourself as you get older. That's one big bakery full of humble pie you're cooking up right now.

对妈妈耐心点。她身上任何使你发火或失望的特质，等以后年纪再大一些你都会在自己身上找到。你正在自酿苦酒。

12. Don't be competitive. Be collaborative. There's plenty of room at the table.

不要好胜，要有团队意识。每个人都会分到一杯羹。

13. Your dream life is not something that will appear to you, or not, like an elusive, mythical unicorn. You build your own specifically perfect life every time you listen to your gut, shake off rejection, honor friends, embrace choosiness, feed your savings account and recognize your own arrogance.

你梦想的生活方式也许不会出现，如果出现，它也不会像一直神秘魔幻的独角兽那样现身。每次你倾听自己的内心，战胜挫折，珍惜朋友，拥抱对你的挑剔，增加存款，认清自己的傲慢的时候，你都在建构自己独有的梦想生活。

Love,

爱你的，

40-Year-Old Me

40岁的我