In fact, there are certain behaviors that actually telegraph that you are not relationship material. Becoming aware of those behaviors, and getting rid of them, can be very powerful in changing the way that you are perceived.

事实上，你的一些行为表明你不是谈恋爱的料儿。如果你意识到这些行为，改掉它们，那么别人会认为你发生了巨大的变化。

My 20 tough love reasons for why you don’t have a boyfriend:

我认为你没有男朋友的20个原因：

1. You’re needy. You met him last weekend, he texted a few times, and now you just won’t leave the guy alone. This is probably the#1 behavior that gets girls labeled psycho in the early days.

你太需要关爱。你上周末才遇见他，他给你发过几次短信，你就不想让他独自待着了，这可能是被人认为“不正常”的头号原因。

2. You like players. You can’t resist the bad boys, the ones who have dumped on other women. You think that you will be different, that nabbing a player will validate your feminine powers. But the player always wins, because the player always walks.

你喜欢花花公子。你无法拒绝那些甩过女朋友的坏男人。你觉得自己与众不同，能捕获花花公子的心说明自己有女人味。但是花花公子总是会赢，因为他们总是会离开。

3. You’re a princess. You want a man who will will worship the very ground you walk on. Do you really want a guy who will eagerly go to a bunch of chick flicks withyou? Wouldn’t you rather accompany him to Transformers from time to time?

你是一个公主。你想要一个拜倒在你脚下的男朋友。你真的想要一个总想和你一起看言情电影的男人吗？为什么不在有空时和他一起去看看《变形金刚》呢。

4. You flirt too much. Flirting is an essential skill in any woman’s toolkit. It is meant to indicate to a guy thatyou are singling him out for special attention because you are attracted to him. If you flirt like crazy withevery Y chromosome you encounter, it loses its effectiveness, and makes you seem “not very choosy.”

你太爱调情。调情是女性的必杀技，用于你被某个男性吸引，想引起他注意的时候。如果你见到一个男性就和他调情，那么它就会失去作用，并且会让你看起来“没那么讲究”。

5. You’re not in the game. If you’re shy, reserved, or aloof, you are not approachable. If you find a guy attractive, meet him halfway by signaling your interest with eye contact and a smile. If you know him, pay him some attention.

你没有进入到角色中。如果你害羞、保守或和他人疏远，那别人很难接近你。如果你觉得某一个人男性有吸引力，那你可以用眼神和微笑和他交流。如果你认识他，可以多注意一下他。

6. You’re too picky. You want a guy who is well-educated, financially successful, handsome, funny, witty, generous, blah blah blah. Get realistic. Keep an open mind when you’re sizing up men. Allow yourself to find the good.

你太挑剔了。你希望男友受过良好教育、富有、帅气、幽默、聪明、大方等等。现实点儿吧！当你对男性进行估量时，请保持开放的心态。找个不错的就行了。

7. You’re a Girl Gone Wild. Stop getting drunk. No one, male or female, ever became more attractive when they got drunk . When you are drunk, you say and do foolish things.

你是个狂热的女孩。别再醉酒了。无论是男是女，只要喝醉了，就没什么吸引力。当你醉酒时，你会说会做一些愚蠢的事情。

8. You’re ditzy. I don’t know why some women love to get all girly and giggly. Isuppose it makes them feel sexier, a la Marilyn Monroe. If you’re with a guy who wants his women stupid, you need a new guy.

你表现得很愚蠢。我不知道为什么有些女性喜欢矫揉造作、咯咯傻笑。我猜她们这样做是觉得自己很性感，就像玛丽莲-梦露一样。如果你的男友想要和愚蠢的人在一起，那你还是重新找一个吧。

9. You’re a Mean Girl. Sometimes, guys want to get with mean girls because they’re powerful, but that relationship isn’t about love.

你是个坏女孩。有时，有些男性想和坏女孩在一起，因为他们很厉害，但是这种关系不是爱情。

10. You’re high maintenance. You always feel slighted. He’s always saying and doing the wrong thing.Your feelings are constantly hurt, and he is constantly apologizing. Fighting all the time can be rewarding in the short-term, but ultimately it’s a total boner-killer.

你很难哄。你总是觉得自己被忽略，他总是在说在做错误的事情；你总是感觉很受伤，而他一直在向你道歉。总是吵架在短期内是有益的，但最终会令关系破裂。

11. You’re aggressive. You act like one of the guys. Male is biologically programmed to seek his complementary opposite – which includes a much larger dose of estrogen. You can be strong, independent, and very, very female.

你争强好胜。你表现得就像男人一样。从生理上讲，男性天生就去寻找互补——拥有大量雌激素的女性。你其实可以既坚强独立，又可以非常有女人味。

12. You’re self-absorbed. You talk about yourself all the time. You’re not emotionally engaged in a caring and generous way. If you’re not curious about him; if you are not hungry for details about who he is and what he’s into, then maybe he’s the wrong guy. Or maybe you’re the wrong girl.

你爱自我陶醉。你总是在谈论自己。从情感上讲，你既不充满爱心，也不慷慨大方。如果你对他并不好奇，如果你不渴望去了解他和他喜欢的事情，也许他不适合你。或者你不适合他。

13. You’re a homebody. You are not going througheach day looking to interact with and smile at attractive and approachable people. And by the way, get off the cell phone. The adorable guy behind you in line at Starbucks can’t say hi if you’re on your phone, plus he’s hearing you sound like a complete idiot with your BFF.

你是个宅女。你不出门，就没法向有吸引力的人微笑、没法和他们交流。另外，放下你的电话吧。如果你一直在打电话，在星巴克排队时你后面那可爱的家伙就没法给你打招呼了。 另外，你和朋友打电话时，他听到你讲的话会觉得你像个白痴。

14. You’re too hard to get. Yes, everyone likes a challenge. No one likes desperation. If he asks you out spontaneously for tonight, that’s a real invitation. If you are interested, accept.

你太难追了。是的，每个人都喜欢挑战。但是没人喜欢绝望。如果他主动邀你出去，那就是一次真正的邀请。如果你感兴趣的话，就接受吧。

15. Your number is too high. You don’t have to tell anyone your personal data. Just be aware that when you’re making the rounds within a certain community or group of friends, word gets out fast.

你交往过的男友太多了。你的个人隐私不要告诉别人。当你在某一社区或一群朋友间交流拜访时，一定要小心。这种消息传得可快着呢。

16. You’re flaky. A plan is a commitment. Don’t blow someone off when something better comes along.Don’t ditch him because your friend “really needs you.” Don’t be late. Don’t get drunk . Women constantly complain that men aren’t reliable, but I’ve seen plenty of women flake out on guys.

你不太可靠。计划就是承诺。不要因为有更好的事情而放别人的鸽子；不要因为你的朋友“真的很需要你 ” 就对他不告而别；不要迟到；不要醉酒。女性经常抱怨男性不可靠，但我也见过很多对男性食言的女性。

17. You’re materialistic. You know what? The best dates are cheap dates. Cooking together. Hanging out. Taking a long walk.

你太贪图享乐。你知道吗？其实的约会费用都不高。你们可以一起做饭，一起出去玩，或来一次长距离散步。

18. You’re scared. You’ve been burned before. You are understandably wary. You’ve got to find a way forward. There is no love for any of us without considerable risk, so do what you need to do to work through it.

你感到害怕。你以前受过伤，谨慎是可以理解的，但你得找一个方法让生活继续。没有风险就不会有爱情，所以做你该做的事情来克服它。

19. You’re rigid. Being rigid is largely about asserting control. That’s never a winning relationship tactic.

你很顽固。顽固主要是因为想拥有控制感，这种策略不会导致双赢关系。

20. You’re a pushover. You put up with all kinds of crap. If you do not respect yourself, he certainly isn’t going to respect you, and your value in his eyes will tank.

你太容易被控制。 你忍受着各种不公平的待遇。如果你不尊重你自己，他当然也不会去尊重你， 你的价值在他眼里也会暴跌。