Additionally, in educational aspect, video games have contributed a lot and still helping children and teenagers learning basic and professional skills, like speaking for kids and aircraft control for future pilots.

Educationally speaking, video games have contributed a lot, enhancing players’ performance on decision making and visual memory. 

▲ -ly speaking “从…角度来说”，可以作为两个观点的划分点；替换 besides/in addition等；

▲ 遇到and结构时，各位一定要看清前后在语法结构上是否平行，原句have done和helping明显的语法失误；

▲考官给出的题干中，讨论主体是“people who play them”，还是比较宽泛的，那我们可以广义上分析对所有玩家的好处，也可以将该主体细化；可是，后文中对children和teenagers的技能提升上对应举的例子“speaking”和“aircraft control”跨度也太大了，给读者一种很扯的阅读感受。因此，改写后对本部分进行调整，就所有玩家来看，现在分词短语enhancing players’ performance on something置于主句后，细化主句中的关键信息contribution，进行具体内容的补充；decision making and visual memory具象地适用于所有玩家。