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雅思大作文一直是同学们在雅思考试中的拦路虎。在教学的过程中我们也常常发现,很多学生写的句子空洞、不饱满。究其原因,大多是没有对论证进行细节化的处理。今天我们就从 3 个方面一起来分析一下,怎样才能让自己写出的句子充满细节,变得更加饱满。
1.介词 / 介词短语
2.举例
3.对比
1. 细节 - 介词 / 介词短语
介词或介词短语的概念相信大家都不陌生,那么我们怎么在雅思写作中去运用呢?我们从考官的范文中总结出考官常常用到以下介词:in/ in terms of/ in regard to/regardless of 来扩充论证部分。
我们首先以剑桥5 TEST2中gap year 一文中的例句来学习一下这样的用法。
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high
school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who
decide to do this?
在这篇例文的立论段中,有一个非常经典的论点句,考官在论述间隔年的好处的时候,提到学生如果可以体验间隔年的话,他们会变得更加独立。很多学生在论证此论点的时候,基本的思路是:
他们会更独立,而独立是一个重要的因素,并且给予他们很多优势。
They would be more independent, which is an important factor and gives them a wide variety of advantages.
乍一看,这样的论证并没有什么不妥,可是考官看到这样的句子会觉得非常空洞。那么我们不妨思考一下独立作为一个重要的因素体现在什么方面呢?与此同时,当我们论证独立可以带来很多优势的时候,具体又指的是什么呢?我们来看考官给出的范例,就通过介词短语的方式对论证过程进行了细节化处
理,让整个句子都饱满了起来:
They would be more independent, which is an important factor in academic study and research, as well as giving them a wide variety of advantages in/in terms of coping with the challenges .
从考官的范文中,我们可以看到,考官提到了独立作为一个重要的因素体现在学生的学习和研究中,而优势细化后体现在面临挑战的时候。
同样的,我们在很多作文的开头段中,都有一个步骤是引出下文,来表明自己的立场。很多同学在写作的时候会写到:
我完全同意他们
I agree with them completely.
这样的句子也因为没有根据话题进行细节化处理,考官不能一目了然的明白学生的点,而让考官读起来丈二摸不着头脑。我们来看一下细化之后的句子。
I find myself in complete agreement with them in regard to environmental protection/private vehicle's application.
我们再看一个例句:
其他人认为人们应该自由地选择他们喜欢的运动。范文在处理的时候在后面加上了 regardless of its danger,
让整个句子更加饱满了起来。
Others hold the view that people should be free to choose whatever sports they prefer, regardless of its danger.
2. 细节 - 举例
另外一种增加句子表达饱满度的方法就是举例。很多时候学生写出来的句子因为没有用例子扩充,导致整个论证过程趋于空洞。
比如如果我们想证明远程教学给很多人带来便利,不但可以具体说明如何便利,还可以把受益的人具体化(通过举例罗列的方法),从而让考官看出我们对于远程教学的了解是充分的。下面我们来看一下范文。
Students do not need to travel to school or attend classes in person at a fixed time if they register a distance - learning programme. This convenience means much to some groups of people with special needs to get education, such as full time workers who are busy working, mothers who have to take care of their baby, disabled people or those who admire to access a foreign university but cannot leave their homeland.
同样的当我们论证到电视节目可以给观众提供大量信息的时候,也不妨通过举例的方式告诉考官,到底提供了哪些方面的信息,从而使整个论证饱满。
There are plenty of well-made TV programmes that provide viewers with information on such diverse to pics as history , science , medicine, foreign languages and economics.
提到领很高的薪水的人的时候,也可以采取同样的办法:
Many people find their rewards unfair, especially when comparing these super salaries with those of top surgeons or research scientists, or even leading politicians who have the responsibility of governing the country.
3. 细节 - 对比 compared with/ 比较级 /rather than
第三种增加细节,让论证表达丰富的起来的办法是通过对比的写作手法来达到目地。
在论证到大学相对于网络教学的优点的时候,我们不妨在前面加上相比于网络教学,来达到目地 :
Compared with as ingle computer, a variety of teaching facilities,such aslaboratories,
libraries,sportsequipmentand the playground in college, (上文提到的举例)students aremore
ready to do various experiments and physical exercises.
同样论证电子游戏容易让用户沉溺于虚拟世界时,我们可以通过与现实生活中的消遣进行比较,从而使得论证更加的饱满。
Users , orgamers , are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes.
在论证电子游戏的危害的时候,可以通过对比传统游戏来让句子丰富起来。
These are often electronic games rather than traditional games that tend to be very intense and rather violent in plots, and image.
以上三种方法可以很好的帮助同学们在写作的时候规避论证空洞、句子干瘪的情况,让自己的表达更加丰富和饱满。希望同学们按照我们讲的方法强加练习,早日与雅思分手成功!
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