If you’re in a long term relationship or marriage, you know that it’s not always easy to keep that warm glow of freshness and excitement alive in your relationship.

 

假如你有固定伴侣，或早已迈入婚姻殿堂，你便能体会到：在感情中，若想保持起初的新鲜和刺激感，可不是一件容易的事。

 

After the first bout of heady romantic love is gone, everyday sameness settles into any relationship.

 

当最初那阵令人迷醉又转瞬即逝的浪漫散去，你们的小日子里便渐渐开始被日复一日的枯燥所占据了。

 

And unless you’re making conscious efforts to keep things hot, soon boredom and tedium takes the shine off one of the most special relationships of your life, making it feel like just another chore. So what are these conscious efforts that you can make?

 

除非刻意保持新鲜感，否则这段生命中最特别的关系将会被无聊和单调抹去它原有的光辉，使你厌倦不堪。那么，该如何来有意识地避免这种事发生？

 

Here are some of the tricks my husband and I frequently use to keep things as new and happening as our first few days.

 

我和我的丈夫是通过以下的几个小技巧，来保持两人间的新鲜感的。

 

1. Surprise Surprise!

 

惊喜！惊喜！

 

Couples spend weeks – sometimes months – planning for the next birthday/anniversary gift for their spouse/significant other.

 

通常，俩口子会一起计划下一个生日/纪念日怎么过，以及送给对方什么礼物。这事儿可能要花上几星期、甚至几个月来完成。

 

Have you ever thought how you can magically sweep your partner off their feet with a fraction of that effort on an ordinary day?

 

不过，你有没有想过在一个平凡的日子里，突然给对方一个大惊喜呢？

 

Nothing works like giving tiny, simple – and most importantly, unexpected – surprises to each other in keeping the air of freshness and novelty in your relationship.

 

若想帮助情感保鲜，没什么比送给对方一个出其不意又意义重大的小礼物更好的办法了。

 

2. Romantic texts

 

发浪漫短信

 

A great thing about those “I miss you kitten” texts you used to send each other in the initial days of your relationship is the juvenile excitement in them.

 

我们在恋爱初期，之所以钟情于互发“想你啦，宝贝”之类的短信，是因为它能带给我们一种青涩的甜蜜。

 

You need that back right now. OK, it may not be 10 times a day like back then – but can you text him/her randomly, suddenly and romantically on some random ordinary day?

 

现在的你们也需要它。没必要像以前那样，一发就十几条，但你也可以在平日里偶尔“肉麻”一下嘛。

 

The smile it brings on their lips will spread its glow for quite some time in your relationship – until the next time you do the same, that is.

 

当你的爱人看到短信，他们不自觉的微笑将蔓延开来，为你们的感情增添一道明亮色彩。如此反复，爱将日益坚固。

 

3. What happened to dating?

 

不如来次约会？

 

I confess – my husband and I haven’t actually gotten around to doing this yet. But the human mind works on associations, and fixing up a date on a cool Friday evening with your partner will bring all those flutters of your dating days back into your systems.

 

我得先坦白一下，我和我老公还没试过这招。但是人的脑子是会主动联想的。如果你们相约在某个美好的周五晚上外出约会，那么，那些旧时光里的浪漫记忆都将涌上心头，让你们重温美好。

 

Well if not all, then some. And that will go much beyond that one evening, reminding each of you once again of how exciting, romantic and special a person the other is.

 

好吧，也可能涌上来的只是“部分”，反正好歹也是记忆重现了嘛。重要的是，这次约会将让你们想起以前会面时彼此是多么激动、感觉是多么特别、以及面前的这位爱人，对自己而言是多么的重要。

 

4. If you admire them, let them know

 

欣赏ta，就要告诉ta

 

There are some qualities that each of our significant other possesses which made them feel special to us in the first place.

 

每个人所珍爱的那一位，一定都有一些特殊的品质让你珍视，反之亦然。

 

What is it in yours that blew you off? Was it beauty? Intelligence? Verve? Ability to hold a conversation?

 

那么，你的爱人，有哪些能把你迷倒的闪光点呢？是美貌？智慧？魄力？还是优异的社交能力？

 

Whatever it is, it’s still there, and if you’re reading this you still admire it. Now all you have to do is let them know from time to time. If you place yourself in their shoes you’ll probably know how happy it makes someone to know they’re still valued and special to their partner.

 

无论是哪样，它如今依然存在，且假如你已经耐心地读到了这里，就说明你仍然欣赏伴侣的。现在你要做的，仅仅是确保能时常提起你对他的赞美和欣赏。将心比心很重要，当你设身处地从别人角度考虑的话，便能发现被欣赏、被重视是多么快乐的一件事。

 

5. Find a little joint project

 

一起做一件小项目

 

A baby brings couples closer because it gives them something common to care for other than just each other.

 

一个孩子能让伴侣间跟亲密，因为它让人们不仅关心彼此，更学会了共同去关心别人。

 

A joint project or a common hobby is not so different. It’s something that’s important to both of you and hence helps strengthen your bond.

 

同理，一个需共同参与的项目，或一个相同的爱好也是一样。因为它对你们两人来说都很重要，从而加强了你们的联系。

 

6. When chatting is a to-do

 

避免让聊天模式化

 

Do you have common topics of interest? Like music/movies/politics? If not, create them, because you need them.

 

你们有共同的话题或兴趣吗？比如音乐、电影、政治？如果没有，那就去挖掘，因为你们需要共同兴趣点。

 

Nothing gives boredom a more permanent seat at your dinner table than limiting yourself to those married-people-dialogues (“pass me the sauce”, “we need to buy bread”, “the car needs servicing”).

 

已婚夫妇在餐桌上的常见对话“把调料递给我”、“我们该买面包了”、“家里的车该保养了”……没什么比这些话题更无聊了。

 

Actively engage in meaningful and fulfilling discussions on any topic that interests both of you. My husband and I enjoy this little sport like anything (Disclaimer: it gets a bit too competitive at times.

 

不如积极一点，参与那些你们都喜欢的、充满意义的话题或活动吧。我和我老公就有共同喜欢的运动，而且，有时候我们还会相互竞争呢。

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